Why Don't You Get a Job
by The Shameless BookWorm
Summary: Neville POV. It happens everyday; Neville doesn't know how he got to be in a such a position. He just doesn't understand why Harry doesn't just make himself happy. Het and slash. Other warnings inside. HPGW, HPDM, HGRW, NLLL. This summary is horrible.


**Hey, everyone. So, this is the oneshot that my Muse demanded I write. Yes, she's still ball-and-chained here. She hasn't escaped yet. Unfortunately, college did get in the way of its speedy finish. I'm hoping to have an update for TBWIM soon. I've got a few more stories (plotbunnies) that have been batting their lashes at my Muse. She's not as conditioned as I am, not that that is saying much; those little suckers get me all the time. It's the biological cuteness factor, I swear.**

**I don't know why, but my songfics always end up being really, really long. What's up with that?**

**DISCLAIMER: Still not British. Still don't see any Drarry lovin'. Harry Potter is still isn't mine. May we all bow down to JKR for the wonder sandbox she gave us to play in. I also don't own "Why Don't You Get a Job" by The Offspring.**

**WARNINGS: Mild, and trust me, it's MILD slash. Weasley bashing. Mentions of character death. Some slight swearing. EWE. **

**I don't normally write in first person point of view. I find it less descriptive. Also, I'm not really sure if this is going to be funny, but I did try. This started out being a crackfic in my head, but then it morphed into this. Please enjoy it and let me know how I did even if you hated it.**

**~Shameless**

**_Bold Italics are song lyrics._**

_Italics are thoughts or emphasis. _(You should be able to tell the difference.)

* * *

><p>~.oOo.~Neville POV~.oOo.~<p>

_**My friend's got a girlfriend and he hates that bitch,**_

_**He tells me every day.**_

_**He says, "Man, I really gotta lose my chick**_

_**In the worst kind of way."**_

I heard the bell above my greenhouse door ding as the door swung open. Light, measured footsteps pat against the earthen floor. I knew immediately who it was.

"Oh boy, here we go again," I muttered under my breath.

I loved him; I really did, but sometimes it was just aggravating to listen to the same thing over and over again.

"Hey, Nev," he called out.

"Hi, Harry," came my despondent tone. His crow's nest hair was the first thing I noticed as he came around the corner. Concern marred his features.

"Is something wrong?"

"No," I quickly, perhaps _too_ quickly, replied.

"Neville, come on. I've been your friend for years. What is it?"

"Oh, nothing, Harry. It's just…well…" I broke off, debating whether to tell him the truth or not. It really was in my sanity's best interest to simply come clean. It would at least spare me the irritation of listening to him lay the same woes on me day after day. _No, I can't. It seems like I'm the only one he _really_ talks to._ Looking down at the Ferrulous Fern that I was tending, I replied, "It's just my fern. It just doesn't seem happy most of the time, like it is dissatisfied with its life."

And my fern, darling gem it is, drooped down slightly looking as depressed as any plant could. Smiling inwardly to myself, I ran my fingertips over its stalk. I felt its fronds caress the back of my hand in return.

I really love the relationship that I have with my plants. We understand each other in a way that I struggle to achieve with humans. The closest thing I have to a normal human interaction is the one I share with Harry. Unfortunately, it also annoys the bloody hell out of me.

I turned back to Harry. _I wonder if he will get the hint._

"Perhaps it is the company that it is keeping," I said and pointedly observed the other ferns. "So what's up, Harry." _Might as well get this over with._ "I'm sure you didn't come for my plants or my sparkling personality. Is Ron speaking to you yet?"

And then, I immediately regretted even bringing it up. Without preamble, he plunked down in the dirt next to me. A small puff of dust rose up around him and clung to his robes. Ginny would throw a fit for some unknown reason. _Honestly, it's called 'magic.' Just swish and flick, and poof! No more dust. Amazing. _

"No," he whispered sullenly.

I just nodded, unsure of what to say. The fight had been phenomenally heated. The rift it created amongst "The Golden Trio" was unbelievable. And to make matters worse, Hermione had sided against Harry despite the fact that everything Harry had said was true.

"Nev, what am I going to do? I just can't take it anymore. I can't stand Ginny anymore. I don't want to see her. I don't want to talk to her. I don't want to be around her. At all. I…I'm pretty sure that I hate her. God, I sound like a horrible person. She's not the person that I once knew. She's changed, and I don't like what she has become. I've got to lose her in the worst kind of way, but everyone expects me to be with her, love her. If I break it off, Ron'll never forgive me."

_Merlin! What a fucking mess._

_**She sits on her ass; he works his hands to the bone**_

_**To give her money ev'ry payday**_

_**But she wants more dinero just to stay at home**_

"Nev, all she does is sit on her arse all day long. She doesn't cook. That's my "specialty." She refuses to clean. That's what Kreature is for, she says. The only thing she asks for is money. Money for clothes. Money for jewelry. Money for Merlin knows what. I swear; she flaunts my fortune worse than Dr-Malfoy ever did his own."

He flushed at his near slip even though he knew that I heard it. I shook my head.

"Harry, I know that you've become friends with Malfoy. I don't really see what the big deal is. You should be commended for letting go of a childish grudge, both of you. So, Ginny just wants you money."

Harry blushed even brighter as he said, "And sex. She gropes me in public, Nev! It's humiliating! And the clothes she buys with my money would make a common whore cringe. I just don't find her attractive anymore. On top of that, I found out from Gringotts that she has been paying a Potions Master a pretty penny, and by pretty penny I mean _huge chunks_, of money for fertility potions. Fertility potions! I don't want kids yet! I just turned eighteen. I'm too young. She's too young!"

I nodded once more. "Harry, you know most wizarding couples start young, especially recently due to the war. Luna is talking about having a baby; well, she keeps telling me that we'll be having twins. Personally, I hope not. I fear that they'll be Fred and George reincarnated."

We both paused. The wound was fresh. Fred had died in the Battle of Hogwarts; George had gone six weeks later. He just gave up, and his depression got worse and worse. One morning, he never woke up. There had been not traces of foul play, dark magic, or poison. It was ruled an "untimely death by natural causes." But, I think that his magic finally gave in and granted his wish: Fred, his twin, the other half of him. Harry had been the one to find him. It had hurt him a lot. Harry was close to the twins. _Sometimes I wonder how close_. He had been surprised to learn that he inherited Weasley's Wizarding Wheezes. Now, he slaved there day-in and day-out to keep the twins' legacy going. I'm not really surprised that Ginny is gouging so harshly into that lucrative business via Harry's vault. She just wanted the joke to herself. She always was too vindictive for her own good.

_**Well my friend, you gotta say,**_

_**I won't pay; I won't pay ya**_

_**No way. **_

_**Now, now why don't you get a job?**_

_**Say no way; say no way**_

_**Yeah, no way**_

_**Now, now why don't you get a job?**_

"You know, Harry, you could just cut her off from your money. It isn't like her name is on the vault. It isn't, right?"

"No," he muttered glumly. His forehead, I noticed, had fallen down unto his knees. Sadness welled in me as I stared at the pitiful picture he made. As annoying as it sometimes is to hear Harry complain about Ginny all the time but not do anything about it, I just couldn't be angry at him when he looked so dejected. I scooched closer to him and wrapped an arm around his shoulders.

"Why don't you put your foot down and block her access to your vault?"

"I couldn't do that to the goblins, Nev. It's completely unfair."

I jolted away from him. "What are you talking about, Harry?"

"Well, if I wanted to block her access, I'd have to get a new vault, have it re-warded and everything transported. Then, I'd have to have the vault specifically warded against her, her magical signature. To do that, the bank manager and Ginny would have to be present. It would be a mess, Nev. I can't inconvenience the goblins that way."

"Harry. You don't have to do any of that. All you need to do is go to Gringotts and give them a drop of your blood to verify that you are who you say you are. Then you just request her blocked from your vaults. Who told you otherwise?"

I watched Harry's jaw clench shut viciously. His teeth were grinding so hard that I feared that they would bread.

"Ginny did, Nev. Ginny did―and Ron."

I sighed. Harry never could seem to cut a break. First, their fight where Harry had accused Ginny of only being interested in his money and fame. Now, Ron was part of the reason Ginny was able to bleed Harry dry.

This is one of those moments that I wish that I had had the courage to truly approach Harry as a friend back in first year instead of remaining a mere acquaintance for so long.

"Harry, just tell her that you won't pay. She is seventeen. Why can't she get a job?"

_I don't know how else to say it._ _Harry needs to put his foot down and stop letting people walk all over him; their affection and caring isn't worth his sense of helplessness and acceptance and depreciated sense of self._

_**I guess all his money, well it isn't enough**_

_**To keep her bill collectors at bay**_

_**I guess all his money, well it isn't enough**_

'_**Cause that girl's got expensive taste**_

"But, then again, Nev, I can't cut her off. She is helper her parents pay their bills and buy things like food."

_Dear Merlin! How can he just turn a blind eye to what is happening around him! I know he cares about the Weasleys but can't he see that they; with the exception of Bill, who has a good-paying job; Charlie, who lives in Romania; and the late twins, are taking advantage of his kind heart._

"Sweet Circe, Harry, if they have so many bills to pay, why did they just go on a vacation to Italy for three weeks? They even went without you because you didn't want to close up the joke shop for so long, and you didn't have anyone who knew how to run it. Please, Harry, open your eyes to what is going on around you! Think about it. The Weasleys were able to get by without your money in the past. What changed? If anything, it should be easier because most of the kids aren't living in the house anymore."

"I don't know, Nev," Harry huffed. I could tell that this was beginning to upset him. It would upset me, too, if I found out the people that I considered family were using me.

"Yes, you do. Stop lying to yourself. It's Ginny, Harry. It's always been Ginny. She's got expensive taste now that she has been enlightened to it."

_**Well my friend, you gotta say,**_

_**I won't pay; I won't pay ya**_

_**No way**_

_**Now, now why don't you get a job?**_

_**Say no way; say no way**_

_**Yeah, no way**_

_**Now, now why don't you get a job?**_

"Harry, you gotta―"

"Yea, yeah, I know, Nev," he snapped at me.

_Ah, there is the Gryffindor temper. Well, maybe if I push the button hard enough this time, he'll actually snap and do what needs to be done._

"Do you really," I ask. My eyebrow arched in what I'm sure is a very Snape-like manner. It must have looked terrifying since I know how scary that look was.

"Yes."

"Then what is it, hmm?"

"You want me to put my foot down, Nev. You want me to say I won't pay."

I nodded. "That's right. And you should, and not just because I think you should. Harry, you're not happy. At all. If you were like some, you might've actually gone after another girl."

"I would not!"

"Harry!" I practically shouted at him while I gathered his flailing hands into my own. "I said _if_."

He blushed Gryffindor crimson. His head ducked to the side to try and hide his flaming skin.

"That's not it," he whispered.

I visibly perked up at that. _What else could it be?...Hmm. I wonder… _"What is it, Harry?"

He just shook his head and wouldn't meet my gaze. I sight quietly to myself. Harry from fourth year was back: the one who never said much and seemed so alone.

"Well, if I had to hazard a guess, I'd say that you've found someone that you think no one will approve of."

He flinched slightly. If I hadn't known Harry, and his tells, as well as I do, I would have missed it. It nearly hurt to see this. Harry tried so hard to please everyone but never himself. At this point, I was glad I had decided to listen to him today. I was finding out things that Harry had kept carefully hidden. This was the furthest I had ever gotten. Normally, he would clam up and remain silent; he would just sit there and watch me tend to my plants until he would silently slip out. The first time he did so, I didn't even notice him leave. I felt horrible and told him so the next time I saw him. From then on, he made sure to gently touch my shoulder or in some other way let me know that he was leaving.

_I worry about him. Ever since entering the wizarding world, he's had to be something he never wanted to be. And he doesn't seem to be able to see when he is being exploited. It probably has something to do with his past, which he is completely tight-lipped about. I'm pretty sure he is going to take it to his grave without confiding in a single soul. _

After I thought the silence had carried on long enough, I continued my guessing. "Let me guess," I said, "Slytherin."

He just curled in tight to himself and nodded infinitesimally. I sagely nodded and began rattling off names.

"Pansy Parkinson? I heard that she and Malfoy had a falling out and are now just friends."

Harry shook his head.

"Daphne Greengrass?"

No.

"Astoria Greengrass?"

No.

"Millicent Bulstrode?"

I cringed at the thought. I really had nothing against her; she just freaked me out. She watches too much, especially couples. Thankfully, he shook his head. I named off Slytherin female after Slytherin female until it hit me. Female. _Of course._

"Blaise Zabini."

Harry's head flew up fast enough to break his neck. His eyes were impossibly wide; those killing-curse green eyes stared at me; they were filled with more fear than I had ever seen in them. Not when people were getting petrified in second year, not when he faced his boggart, now when he went through hell in the Tri-Wizard Tournament, not at the department of mysteries, not even in the Battle of Hogwarts have they held so much pure terror.

"So, it is Blaise."

"Wha―er…whattaya―" he spluttered.

"Oh come on, Harry. There are only two types of people you think people wouldn't approve of. I tried the first: Slytherin. You cringed. That told me that I was right. However, when I started naming every single Slytherin girl I know of, you began to relax just a little. That's when I realized that I was being too narrow. The only other option would be a Slytherin boy. I 'm sure you think there would be even more outrage and uproar over that than just a Slytherin girl. Harry, you're not going to get stoned for being with a boy. Yes, there are some who don't approve of homosexuals, but we're much more open in the wizarding world than in the muggle one, at least from what I've heard. Harry, you need to do what makes you happy. Forget about Ginny; she's using you. Don't worry about the Weasleys and your friends; the ones who truly care about you only want you to be happy. And frankly, you've never liked your fame; you aren't going to win universal popularity, so sod 'em."

He just sighed and stared at the dirt floor. His fingers trailed through it lazily, drawing patterns and figures that I couldn't make any sense of.

"It's not Blaise."

"Marcus Flint? You seemed to have quite the…vibrant connection on the Quidditch pitch."

"No. Not since fifth year."

My eyes widened at that. It was certainly unexpected, at least the part about the relationship occurring in fifth year. I didn't even know he was sexually active at the time. _I'm surprised that Flint didn't tell everyone. A noble Slytherin. Who knew? I suppose it fits, though. Harry was pretty angry in his fifth year. He would've needed an outlet. _I snorted mentally. And I had heard Ginny bragging about getting the virginity of the Boy-Who-Lived after they had sex for the first time. That was when I first realized that Ginny didn't care about Harry._ I'm just glad Harry doesn't know. It would kill him. _A flash of horror went through me.

"It's not one of the goons is it?"

Harry began to laugh; his shoulders shook; tears formed in his eyes. I suppose my look of horror must have been priceless.

"No, Nev, I'm definitely not interested in Crabbe or Goyle. I need someone stimulating, thank you very much."

"Oh, I'm sure you do, Harry."

_Ah, there's that crimson flush again._

"So, is it―"

"Nev, can we give it a rest? He's never going to be interested in me. His family wouldn't approve of me even if I was a girl; they certainly won't seeing as last time I checked, I'm a male. 'Sides, I don't want to ruin everything. I've got to go, Nev. I need to talk to Ginny. Thanks for talking to me. Good luck with your fern. I hope it starts enjoying life again."

_Oh, Harry, you are so clueless._

"Thanks, Harry, I expect it will soon. Good luck to you, too."

I waited for the door to shut with a soft chiming of the bell. Not bothering to look over my shoulder, I said, "I hope you heard enough. Luna sends her love."

A whispered "thank you" and a flash of blond, and he was gone. I looked at my fern and tickled it.

"I'm not cut out for this, Jack." The plant, Jack, twitched in agreement.

_**Well I guess it ain't easy doing nothin' at all. Oh yeah.**_

_**But, hey man free rides don't just come along ev'ryday**_

_**Let me tell you 'bout my other friend now**_

_**My friend's got a boyfriend and she hates that dick**_

_**She tells me everyday**_

_**He wants more dinero just to stay at home**_

The next day, I sat at my desk just outside of the greenhouse working on some charts for the growth rates for my venomous tentacula. They were doing quite well, actually, now that I was analyzing the data. An owl flew into the room with the _Daily Prophet_ for me. Normally, I would toss it aside until I was finished working, but a part of the headline and a photograph caught my eye. My jaw dropped open as I absently dropped two knuts into the owl's money purse. I unfolded the paper.

The photo depicted a calm and collected Harry talking to a distraught, crying-angry-tears Ginny Weasley. Harry talked for a small space of time before walking away just as calmly. Ginny's face, however, contorted with fury. Above, the headline read, "Boy-Who-Lived Breaks Up with Accused Freeloader Girlfriend." I read the article in amazement.

_Harry, you finally did it. Good for you. All it took was me uncovering your secret. Yes, I daresay my "fern" is going to be doing much better._

I smiled as I read the transcription of the conversation that transpired between Harry and Ginny. Harry had been quoted as saying, "Well, I guess it ain't easy doing nothing at all, is it Ginny?"

It was hard to know a girl, whom I once cared greatly about, had used one of my friends so shamelessly. But, I took comfort in the fact that I knew she wouldn't be freeloading off of Harry any longer.

_I just wonder how the Weasleys are going to treat Harry now. _Noting a certain blond in the background, I figured it wouldn't be too well, especially after one or both made their move. _But, Luna has assured me that everything will be just fine, and that the children are going to be happy. _

It was shocking to learn that she is going to be pregnant soon despite my apprehensions of being a father, especially if her prediction of having twins comes to fruition. I wasn't kidding when I told Harry yesterday that I feared that my alleged twins will be Fred and George all over again.

_Apparently, Harry's kids and mine are going to be great friends to the point that we are practically family. And, on top of that, they're going to be just a few years apart according to Luna. Harry's in for a shock. I wonder if he knows that the Unspeakables in the Department of Mysteries recently discovered a way for same-sex couples to have children by replacing the DNA of a donated sperm or egg with the DNA of one of the parents and then using one of the women for a female-female couple or a surrogate for a male-male couple to carry the baby to term._

I smiled to myself as I think of all the times that Luna has shared snatches of our future with me. _She can deny it all she wants, but being a seer means she is proficient at Divination no matter how much she loathes the subject._

I sigh. I couldn't believe that Harry finally did it. _It took four months of subtle hints that progressed into me outright telling him to leave her._ I had actually thought he never would. I figured that if I didn't get through to him soon, he would have caved and married her and have children. I shuddered at the thought. It wasn't that I couldn't imagine Harry with children; that was easy; Harry loved children. I just couldn't see him having children with Ginny. _He would have been happy to the public, a loving and supportive father for his children, and absolutely miserable behind closed doors. I'm glad that he is trying to find his happiness._

Just then, a knock came at my office door. Much in the same manner as yesterday, I sighed. Only one person ever called on me this early and bothered to knock instead of coming in straight away.

"Come in Hermione," I said, trying to hide the despondent tone in my voice. _She's another one who needs to do what makes her happy. How do I come to be roped into these things?_

"Hi, Neville. How are you today?" she asked as she entered. Her bushy hair was tied tightly back into a braid. She seemed to favor that style since it gave her a semblance of control over her wild hair.

"I'm fine. What can I help you with?" I set my work down. I knew that it was hopeless to think that I would get anything done until Hermione had vented what was bothering her.

"Well, first of all, are you the reason that Harry dumped Ginny? She is completely cut up about it. Ron's furious. He told me that he doesn't even consider Harry a friend any longer."

My face pinched in pain. Harry was most definitely going to be hurt by his "friend's" actions. I hadn't meant to break up their friendship; I just wanted Harry to find his happiness and be with someone who couldn't care less about his name or money.

"Yes," I said quietly, "I'm the one who probably pushed him to it. But, honestly Hermione, how could you side with Ron over Harry? You had to know that Ginny was using Harry. Merlin, it was obvious that he wasn't happy with her any longer. He never spent any time with her. His body language screamed that he didn't like her touching him. I just told him to do what made him happy."

Hermione didn't say anything. She just plopped down into the chair across from me. _She reminds me of Harry in a lot of ways._

"I don't know what to do, Neville. Ron…well, he's been getting violent lately. He's always yelling at me for not coming home directly after work. It's like I never have enough money for him or that I'm never home enough to…satisfy him. He just sits around all day and does...God, I don't even know what. I don't think that I want to know."

I sat forward at that. _Oh, I hope he hasn't done it. Oh, Merlin be merciful if he has!_ "Has he hit you?" I asked quietly in a low, growling tone.

"What?" Her eyes widened slightly causing mine to narrow.

"Has he hit you?" I spoke a little more forcefully.

"No, no, he hasn't. I thought he might last night while he was raving about Harry's breakup with Ginny. He got in my face something awful, though. Truth be told, I was terrified. I know that Ron's got a hot temper, but that was the first time that I feared for my safety."

I sighed in relief. While I wasn't pleased to learn that he had scared her, I was also glad that I wouldn't be feeling the need to slip some more…exotic plants into his home. _It would be terrible if Hermione or my plants got hurt because of it_.

"Hermione, I'm going to tell you the same thing that I told Harry. I know that you are expected to be with Ron. You were school day sweethearts, but honestly, he's using you. You are intelligent and gifted, Hermione. You are successful, and you've worked for it. Ron, well, he just isn't the same. He has this huge entitlement complex, which I cannot for the life of me figure out the origins of. You are entitled to your own life. If you want to stay at work a little longer and socialize or save your money for yourself, then so be it. You've earned that right. Also, it might worry you to know that I found out from Harry yesterday that Ron and Ginny had him believing that there was a bunch of bureaucratic red tape that he had to go through to block Ginny's access to his vault in Gringotts. I hope that you haven't been lead to believe similar claims," I said plainly.

_I hope that she can see where I'm leading this. Those two had far too many expectations put upon them. Harry and Hermione were never allowed to live as they wanted to. Harry's been doomed since Halloween of '81. Hermione, however, sealed her fate when she agreed to date Ronald Weasley._

"Oh, yes, Neville, I can definitely see how you were persuading Harry. But," she paused at my glower and raised her hand to stop my retort. "I understand why you did it. I sided with Ron against Harry because I was afraid of what would happen if I didn't. He's been getting more and more volatile. And frankly, Neville, I was scared. However, I'm glad that you were able to make Harry see that he can be happy."

"You know, Hermione," I said while trying to organize my papers slightly, "You would be supported by a lot of people if you left Ron. The Weasleys may not take it well, but you would retain your friendship with Harry and Luna and myself at the very least. I don't know enough about your other associates in the Magical Law Enforcement for Dark Artifacts, but I'm sure that you would have supporters there as well. If Harry was able to overcome the stigma of being the 'it' couple as the Boy-Who-Lived and Made-for-Him girlfriend, I think that you should be able to find the same courage to get out of a discontented relationship. Honestly, Hermione, he doesn't deserve you. I would get out before you end up pregnant and roped into marrying him. I wouldn't put it past Ron to slip it into your drinks or food. Apparently Ginny had been using a pretty penny to pay for fertility potions. That isn't a position that you want to find yourself in. Ron and Ginny need a wake-up call. Ginny has been delivered hers. When are you going to give Ron his?"

_**Well, my friend you gotta say**_

_**I won't pay; I won't pay ya**_

_**No way**_

_**Now, now why don't you get a job**_

_**Say no way; say no way yeah**_

_**No way**_

_**Now, now why don't you get a job**_

_**Oh yeah**_

_**I won't give you no money**_

_**I always pay**_

_**Now, now why don't you get a job?**_

_**Say no way, say no way ya**_

_**No way **_

_**Now, now why don't you get a job?**_

She sighed heavily as I knew she would. She really was frighteningly similar to Harry in many ways.

"Has Ron gotten a job yet?" I asked even though I already knew the answer since she told me all he does is stay at home.

"No, Neville, he hasn't. He really should, though. He's going to be nineteen in April. My God, it isn't that hard. I know that he was offered a position in the Ministry of Magic. He was also accepted into the Auror program _with_ special dispensation for not completing his education on the premise that his time spent hunting the horcruxes gave him more experience than a year in school could. They don't make those kind of exceptions, and he just blew them off. And Harry, too. My―"

"Now, wait, Hermione. He has a job. He owns and manages WWW. It's quite lucrative. Ginny's spending alone indicates that."

"Yeah, but Neville, he's working far below his potential. Imagine what he could do with himself if he went into a more intense field. He's a very powerful wizard, influential, too. I bet if he ran, he would win the election for Minister of Magic hands down. He could have gone into any department in the Ministry of Magic. Hell, I heard that Ollivander offered him an apprenticeship. And he turned them all down to work in a joke shop. A joke shop, Neville!"

I looked at my friend of several years rather sternly. Sometimes she could be so blind. "Hermione. Harry has dealt with enough high-stress, expectation-rife situations in his life. He's tired of having to be the perfect poster child. Allow him this one concession. He took a very low-key job that he takes pride in. He is bringing joy to young children who will never have to know the terror of war because he vanquished, though he may see it as murder, one of the most prolific Dark Lords of our era. It makes him happy, and it is his own. He gave the twins the money to start WWW and helped aid in the development of some of the products. Harry is being responsible with his life. If you want to harp on someone, go after Ron and Ginny. They're the ones who need to get a grip."

I pushed my fingers together into a steeple as I stared at her. She honestly looked quite stunned. It probably wasn't often that someone gave it to her straight and didn't cotton to her vast intelligence or ideals of how people should behave. Like Harry, she needed to get rid of her free-loading partner. And judging by her body language, she looked ready to accept that fact. I glanced at my watch. I needed to tend to my plants soon, but I didn't want to just kick her out of my office.

"Hermione?"

She looks up at me in a more focused manner and tilts her head to the side in acknowledgment.

"You need to tell Ron that you won't pay. That, and maybe get rid of him and find someone that will love and care about you as a person and not as a payday."

She just nodded and stood up. However, before she walked out of the door, she turned back to me with a questioning gaze.

"Hey, Neville?"

"Yes, Hermione?"

"You wouldn't happen to know why I found Harry pressing Draco Malfoy of all people up against a wall in Diagon Alley while trying to lick his tonsils not even thirty minutes after he broke up with Ginny, would you?"

A sly smile crossed my face. _So, he did go for it after all. And so soon._

"Mayhap, Hermione, mayhap."

"Mmhmm. That's what I thought. Have a nice day, Neville. Thanks for the advice."

And with that, she was gone. I chuckled to myself. _Oh, the Weasleys are not going to be having a good week this week, that's for sure. However, Harry and Hermione will be happier for it in the lone run. It sounds like Harry is already on his way to that happiness. Hmm. I wonder if I can get Luna to tell me a bit more about Hermione._

I absently gathered all of the necessary papers and charts I would need in the greenhouse that day. My mandrake plants were getting ready to be repotted once again, and I needed to make sure that they were absolutely ready this time. _Honestly, after what happened last time, I'm never allowing Zacharias Smith to ever utter a word of advice concerning my plants again._ As I made my way to the greenhouse, I noted the plaque on the door.

Hermione's last words to me rang in my ears. '_Thanks for the advice_'. It really did seem like I did a lot of advising for my friends. I even played matchmaker.

Balancing my papers, I withdrew my wand from my sleeve and tapped the plaque. New words formed on it. Satisfied with my work, I entered the greenhouse and got to work. The door with the inscribed plate closed shut with a jingling of the bell. Said plate now read:

**Master Neville Frank Longbottom**

**Plant Horticulture Specialist**

**Head Herbologist – Diagon Alley Greenhouse**

**Relationship Counseling by Appointment**


End file.
